The Carusometer
The Carusometer is the world's most powerful - and certainly most egotistical - TV ratings system. After turning its shaded, unblinking gaze at a TV show, it is able to come up with the true, absolute measure of the show's worth on a scale ranging from 0 to 5.
0 Anti-Caruso
1 Caruso-free
2 Partial Caruso
3 Minor Caruso
4 Major Caruso
5 Full Caruso
Each of these ratings corresponds to a hypothetical ideal TV show in which David Caruso is involved, with a higher number corresponding to greater involvement. A 0 corresponds to a show so good, so high-quality, so well written and directed, that if David Caruso came within 100 metres of it, he would explode instantly. A show such as The Wire registers as a 0 or Anti-Caruso. By contrast, a show that scores a Full Caruso is one that looks as though David Caruso has been involved in every aspect of its production. A show such as Painkiller Jane or Rules of Engagement registers as a 5 or Full Caruso.
FOR EXAMPLE:
The Medium is Not Enough hereby declares Cavemen is a 4 or “Major Caruso” on The Carusometer quality scale. A Major Caruso corresponds to “a show that David Caruso might exec produce or star in after seeing an advert on television featuring cavemen. However, after deciding that cavemen are too dirty and too likely to vote Democrat, he changes the format of the show to be about a hard-working Polish actor, played by himself, who fights the terrible prejudice that exists in society towards people with red hair and who can't act.”
Many thanks to Rob Buckley of "The Medium is not enough" for the good laugh!!!! (http://www.the-word-is-not-enough.com/blog/rob/2007/10/thirdepisode_verdict_cavemen.php)
[ 5:22 PM ] [ Friday, October 12, 2007 ] [ Post Comment ]
DC-Meter
[ Tofogfan ] [ 7:01 AM ] [ Saturday, October 13, 2007 ] [ Link ]