The fame and glory of David Caruso

I’ve seen bits and pieces of the other CSI franchises: New York and Las Vegas. David Caruso fronts the Miami flavor, which is part of the problem. William Petersen and Gary Sinise front the other two. Petersen has genuine talent and Sinise is unpretty enough to look like a cop. Caruso comes off as a game show host with really bad lines.Some carrot-topped cracker more wooden and stiff than a chest of drawers, floundering his way through a script so slick it doesn’t stick to anything. My real reason for detesting CSI: Miami is Mr. Freckles. The older I get the more I object to the continued selling of homicide as entertainment. In between the scenes we get drive-by overhead money shots of glamorous Miami, false advertising at its finest. When a crime happens a 20-something with 8% body fat  Caruso shows up in a Hummer to test for epithelial cells and DNA, which is slung back to the lab for a complete return (with color photographs of the perp) within an hour or two.  Apparently David Caruso yelling “Dammit, I need that right away!” tends to negate the laws of chemistry. I saw as a kid a movie called Special Bulletin. That movie scared the shit out of me. It gave me cold sweat, toss-and-turn nightmares for months. I hope David Caruso doesn’t do the same thing.

Adapted from: http://aresandathena.blogspot.com/2007/08/unreality-tv.html